It's the little things

I've been in rehearsal for Hairspray for going on five weeks now and I find myself frustrated to the point of wanting to quit at some point every rehearsal. It's how I felt last night when we did yet another run-through without me being caught up at all on all I'd missed during my fabulous vacation cruise extravaganza. It stops being fun when I know I'm doing everything all wrong and my only focus when it's wrong is to get it right. During one of our many backstage singing moments last night, I was focused on getting it right. I had my script out to guide me through the music, but had to get close to the stage for my entrance, so I walked to the wings, still singing my part, still angry about all the things I wasn't getting right. While we were waiting for our cue, one of my castmates turned around and grinned at me. It was not a conciliatory "we're in the same place at the same time" smile, but a genuine grin for a specific reason which was completely unknown to me. Being focused, as I was, on not getting yet another thing wrong, I forgot about it as soon as I got onstage and didn't think about it until she brought it up as she was driving me home. It turns out she was just so happy that I was holding down my part among people who were singing something different from me. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was what had pleased her so much before she entered. It hadn't occurred to me that singing my part would be enough to make an impact on someone. It certainly hasn't been enough to make an impact on my music director. But it impacted her. It brought a smile to her face. And that smile eventually brought a smile to my face.

She brought me back to another car ride I shared with her on the way to rehearsal for Oklahoma! when she expressed her hope that I would get to permanently say the line I'd said during the previous rehearsal because the person assigned to it wasn't there. She really hoped it would be my line because, in her words, I'd "said it so good." It was all of ten words, a setup for the principle character I'd auditioned to play, and I didn't even think the director had noticed someone else was saying the line. It was that insignificant. Then Kasea made it significant and, when I was eventually assigned that one line, I was determined to make it significant to someone in the audience. I made a moment. Life is made of moments. I'm grateful for that reminder.