Jump!...or not

I really wanted to write an inspirational post about how taking a leap of faith is a good thing and it's all you have to do sometimes in order for things to work in your favor. I was going to have the perfect example. My handicapped stall, who said she'd call me back an never did is presumably not busy...either that or she's on facebook at work. I know this, because I am staring at the little green circle on her profile. I decided, against the rumbly in my tumbly, that it wouldn't hurt to give her a follow-up call. She probably forgot. She probably got caught up in something and doesn't know her schedule. She probably will be properly contrite at not calling me back like she said she would and then agree to make an appointment for 11:30 tomorrow morning. Okay, I thought, I'll do it.

There is typically more time than necessary between me deciding to do something I don't want to do and the action itself. In this case, I was strong enough to pick up the phone after only a few minutes with the help of The Book of Mormon playing in my head and an image of her daughter swimming. Between those two, I was only mildly nauseous as I punched her name in my phone. I braced myself for the bemused "Hello?" and...nothing. She didn't answer. She's closer to a computer than she is to her phone apparently, because it rang several times before going to voicemail. I hung up. I did not leave a message. I accomplished...nothing.

Well kids, what have we learned? Sometimes you jump and you just don't have the momentum to get over the cliff. Either because you're not ready or because the terrain isn't what you expected it to be, sometimes you end up neither falling to your doom nor reaching great heights. And sometimes you end up wondering if the mountains are even real. Sometimes it's right to stay in the same place for awhile. And even if it's not the best things, it isn't necessary to look at things in the worst light. Maybe I should've written about doing risky things before taking this particular risk. I wouldn't have been at a loss for reference points. Then again, maybe excluding a minor yet significant risk on my part would have been an act of cowardice sufficient to deem the whole post pointless. The phone call seems pointless. No one answered and no one knows why I called. Maybe she'll see the missed call in her log and remember that she was supposed to call me. Or maybe she'll be like me and only think the call mattered if there was a message. Maybe this trend of uncertainty is the problem I have with such situations...nah, that's a definite. Finally, a definite. I feel like I'm at the top of a very steep hill and I don't know where to go from here. On one hand, it's a beautiful place to be. On the other hand, I can't very well stay up here forever. Where do I go from here?