The leap of faith thing...I'm still doin it.

I'm thinking about starting a blog that's just about Make It or Break It so that I can resolve my conflicting feelings about that show while it's in limbo without mixing it in with anecdotes about CUTCO and complaining about my life. That is not what this post is about, but I thought of a great example for the decision to do things that may have negative consequences from that show. Payson's parents don't want her to take endorsement money for fear of her not being able to pay for college and when they bring up their hesitation to gamble with their daughter's future, Alex points out that they are gambling with her life every time they let her do a trick or enter a competition. When your life is a big gamble, you shouldn't feel squeamish about making one wager.

I am a thespian. I decided to be an actor knowing how uncertain such an industry is. I decided to major in theatre with the full knowledge that there's nothing else you can do with a theatre degree and I decided to go to a school with a so-so program that doesn't have a reputation for turning out big names rather than stay close to home with a strong liberal arts house. I've pretty much guaranteed that my life will always be topsy turvy unless I switch to philosophy, go to law school and spend the rest of my life getting degrees that qualify me to talk down to people. I could make this a lot easier on myself but I haven't and I won't in those capacities, so what's keeping me from taking more minor leaps? By this point in my life, I shouldn't be held back for fear of falling; not when the life I've chosen requires me to fly.

And so here goes my time to jump in. Here I am in Tallahassee, hardly a booming metropolis, but a place with opportunities enough that those who seek them will find them. Yes, I paid for dance classes at two different facilities weeks before I will have an income and I currently can't afford to buy groceries but I had nice lines and I'm growing as an artist...and I could afford to cut back on my eats. No, I don't have another ride lined up for Quincy, but I had a great time at auditions and I anticipate lots of awesome people with cars being in the show and the majority of rehearsals are going to be in Tallahassee anyway. Admittedly, CUTCO is not the ideal job for an immobile youth with few connections, but I got through my first appointment and a decent set of recommendations and I have all summer to test out whatb they promise we'll all get if we just work at it. I'm...climbing. I'm not flying yet but I'm getting closer and getting stronger and every day that I remember what is not promised but can be, I have the opportunity to soar a little higher.

Getting out of bed is a gamble. Who's to say that this day will be as good as yesterday or not as bad? Every obstacle that existed yesterday is still there, sometimes higher and firmer. That's probably my biggest reason for sleeping in so often. It's a big scary world out there and my bed may not be the comfiest, but at least it's safe. Safe is alright. But life could be better. Life could be incredible. Life could be...good.