I has a tummy ache.

Today is ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, and I have been inspired by my inability to control myself heretofore to give up sweet tea for forty days. In honor of my resolution, I began celebrating Mardi Gras last weekend gorging myself to the conception of several food babies by consuming gallons of sweet tea and other gras things. I indulged in brownies and ice cream, cookies and burgers, and one kickass salad with losts of bacon with the knowledge that, beginning today, I would have to restrain myself. My first concrete recognition of Mardi Gras in many years has opened my eyes to two realities: first, that few people who choose to play on Mardi Gras follow through with Ash Wednesday and 2) Eating crap for four days does not feel good.

The logic of Mardi Gras was first supported by the notion that observers of Lent would have to do without certain pleasures for forty days and should get them in while they still could. Eat all of the meat before it spoils. Drink all the beer before it separates. Have all the sex before the chastity belts get fastened. The gorging was motivated by an imperative to indulge. Eventually, however, one is motivated to take part in the holy time by an imperative to stop. I realized by the time the actual day of fat came that I was a bit over it. I didn't want any more sweet tea, any more sweet anything, really, and only continued out of a sense of obligation and a resolve that I would discipline myself on the morrow. By the time I got home to partake of my last indulgence, I had to force myself to consume my yummy brownie and cup of ice cream. Now that time is over and, although my bladder full of sweet tea was the only real motivation I had for getting up this morning, I'm glad of it. The Mardi Gras tactic is much like the parent's decision to make a child smpke a pack of cigarettes after trying one. At some point, you realize that gorging is disgusting and you don't want to do it anymore. After that last piece of cake, you prefer restraint to immoderation. That's where I am right now. I hope it lasts.